Theme Park Teams Up For Adult Attraction

by The Editors on April 1, 2008


Carlsbad, CA (April 1, 2008): After nearly ten years of entertaining the kids, a popular Carlsbad theme park has teamed up with Vivid Entertainment on a new 17 acre, $28 million themed attraction whose main thrust will be adults.

Modeled after the back streets of the San Fernando Valley, the all-new 18-and-over Pornoland, will feature rides and services to thrill even the most hardened theme park aficionado. “After several market research studies we found that while people will spend a hell of a lot of money on their kids, they will spend even more on sex,” said Liam Andleson, VP of Product at Mervin Entertainments. “What better way to succeed than by collaborating with the leading brand in adult entertainment.”

Vivid sees this as just one more way to legitimize their business. “We are very excited to have been chosen to help design and staff this new park feature,” said Steve Hirsch, President of Vivid Entertainment. “Like us, the park’s staff have proven that they know the ins and outs of the business and are deeply interested in satisfying their customers.”

While many of the new attractions will remain under cover until opening day, Carlsbadistan has seen tentative plans for several of the new rides.

In one feature called “Coed Pool Party” visitors will float in condom-shaped canoes down a river lined with dioramas (made entirely out of colorful interlocking blocks) re-inacting scenes from some of Vivid’s most memorable videos. Another attraction called “Bangkok Nights” will celebrate the street markets of Thailand, while giving visitors a chance to interact with (and even film) some of the park’s hottest characters.

“When it all comes down to it, we have bent over backwards to provide quality entertainment,” Andleson said. “Now, with attractions for the adults we’ll no longer be known as just a kids park. With Pornoland we’ll be able to focus on the family.”

The park plans to open June 9, 2008.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Rachel April 1, 2008 at 6:46 am

You had me for .1 second. Nice one! hahah!

BduB April 1, 2008 at 8:33 am

Maybe not as soon as June, but LA type scum is surely in Carlsbad’s future!

Bob April 2, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Nice April Fools joke there, editor. Even California would have a tough time
pulling that theme park off. Perhaps the College of Plastic Surgeons would be happy to make sure all of the displays are “enhanced”.

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